Don't forget to tip the waiter
He might slip you a mickey
Don't forget to tip the bartender
He might spit in your drink
What a shame it would be spinning uncontrollably
Or choking down a big ol' green lung cookie
Always always tip the bellhop
All your bags he'll be sure to drop
Always always tip the band
Then they'll rock you like a hurricane
What a shame it would be luggage falling ten stories
Or having a guitar thrown into your face
Never never stiff the local cop
He might hit you with his billy club (bop bop shoe bop)
Never ever stiff the judge
Bake him some brownies or some fudge
What a shame it might be bleeding from your head profusely
Or doing a nickel in the federal penitentiary
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